1852
Friday afternoon—
I
have but one thought, Susie, this afternoon of June, and that of you, and I
have one prayer, only; dear Susie, that is for you. That you and I in hand as
we e'en do in heart, might ramble away as children, among the woods and fields,
and forget these many fears, and these sorrowing cares, and each become a child
again—I would it were so, Susie, and when I look around me and find myself
alone, I sigh for you again; little sigh, and vain sigh, which will not bring
you home.
I
need you more and more, and the great world grows wider, and dear ones fewer
and fewer, every day that you stay away—I miss my biggest heart; my own goes
wandering around, and calls for Susie—Friends are too dear to sunder, Oh they
are far too few, and how soon they will go away to where you and I cannot find
them, dont let us forget these things, for their remembrance now will save us
many an anguish when it is too late to love them! Susie, forgive me Darling,
for every word I say—my heart is full of you, none other than you in my
thoughts, yet when I seek to say to you something not for the world, words fail
me; If you were here, and Oh that you were, my Susie, we need not talk at all,
our eyes would whisper for us, and your hand fast in mine, we would not ask for
language—I try to bring you nearer, I chase the weeks away till they are quite
departed, and fancy you have come, and I am on my way through the green lane to
meet you, and my heart goes scampering so, that I have much ado to bring it
back again, and learn it to be patient, till that dear Susie comes. Three weeks—they
cant last always, for surely they must go with their
little brothers and sisters to their long home in the west! I shall grow more
and more impatient until that dear day comes, for till now, I have only mourned
for you; now I begin to hope for you.
Dear
Susie, I have tried hard to think what you would love, of something I might
send you—I saw at last my little Violets, they begged me to let them go, so
here they are—and with them as Instructor, a bit of knightly grass, who also
begged the favor to accompany them—they are but small, Susie, and I fear not
fragrant now, but they will speak to you of warm hearts at home, and of
something faithful, which "never slumbers nor sleeps"—Keep them 'neath your
pillow, Susie, they will make you dream of blue-skies, and home, and the
"blessed countrie"! You and I will have an hour with "Edward" and "Ellen
Middleton", sometime when you get home—we must find out if somethings contained
therein are true, and if they are, what you and me are coming to!
Now
farewell, Susie, and Vinnie sends her love, and mother her's, and I add a kiss,
shyly, lest there is somebody there!! Dont let them see, will you Susie?
Emilie—
open me carefully